


Before Midnight

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6654418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because Jinyoung is worth crossing the fine lines.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> This is a totally self-indulgent fic I wrote as a distraction, but I still hope this lengthy fic won’t disappoint you because I’m kinda having second thoughts in posting this because goddamn 16k I don’t even know how it got this long. TT_______TT I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing this one! ❤️

 

Jaebum has known Jinyoung for as long as he could remember, has memorized the other like the back of his hands, and has read his emotions and reactions like he does a classic novel. But there are still nights like this when the younger catches him off-guard as he finds Jinyoung clad in his tee shirt which is two sizes larger, sitting at the window seat of Jaebum’s room, curled up with Nora in his lap and an open book in his hands. Jaebum warms up at the sight of Jinyoung looking extra ethereal with the beam of the moon lighting up his face, accentuating the sharp edges that seem so out of place in his soft façade, but still makes him beautiful nevertheless. Jaebum eyes him fondly, eyes glazed with ineffable emotions Jaebum won’t dare name, nor categorize, and even without Jinyoung smiling at him, Jaebum’s weariness and exhaustion vanish, traces of fatigue from extended hours spent in school for meetings for Photography Club’s fall exhibit and the Student Council’s internal and external affairs all gone.

 

Jaebum probably could have spent hours just leaning at the doorframe and staring at Jinyoung without being noticed because Jinyoung is always so concentrated in his printed paperbacks hadn’t Nora seen him. His pet cat purrs, and in a beat she’s up and out of Jinyoung’s lap and sashaying across the room to Jaebum, nuzzling at his feet. Jinyoung looks up then, and Jaebum chuckles at how Jinyoung looks so adorable with his eyeglasses askew.

 

“You’re home late,” Jinyoung comments as he fixes his – _Jaebum’s_ – eyeglasses, and Jaebum hums. Jinyoung moves and repositions himself in the window seat, his legs now hanging on the edge of it, his book bookmarked and placed carefully at his side. He motions for Jaebum to come to him.

 

With long, graceful strides, Jaebum walks towards Jinyoung without being asked twice. He sits down in between Jinyoung’s legs, before leaning his head on the younger’s thighs. It’s then, when the shirt hikes up as Jinyoung moves his hands to rake up Jaebum’s sweaty hair, that he notices Jinyoung is wearing his boxers, too.

 

“And you’re still here. I am surprised you still know my address,” Jaebum teases, looking up at Jinyoung. “You haven’t been here since… hm, Nora’s birthday,” Jaebum says after a short, dramatic pause, and Jinyoung looks away, lower lip jutted childishly. Jaebum doesn’t know whether it’s an effect of the stars or an illusion of his false hopes, or Jinyoung is just really blushing.

 

“You’re seldom at home, anyways. Who would I be visiting?” Jinyoung comments, eyes still not meeting Jaebum’s.

 

It’s true, though. Jaebum has been spending most of the past month since senior year started in school, either presiding meetings or finishing academic-related projects and stuff. Summer break wasn’t spent at home mostly, as well, as Jaebum spent his summer vacation working part-time at a café downtown, and the rest of the day on the public library, just going home for dinner and sleep. It had been a routine back then, and before Jaebum noticed it, he spent the entire break just working and reading, barely seeing Jinyoung. Sometimes, they would meet each other on the library, but those are the times when Jinyoung wasn’t too tired after spending hours at the summer workshop that the Drama Club hosted for grade-schoolers, or at times when Jaebum could at least steal a few hours from him and Mark.

 

_Mark._

Jaebum laughs at himself mockingly, rolling his eyes at his own hypocrisy. Jaebum should have seen this coming—Jinyoung, spending more time with other people and making new friends. Jinyoung is entitled to that, anyways, and it’s not like Jaebum is in any position to choose who are the people Jinyoung could be friends with. Mark sounds like a nice person – he’s heard Jackson spit worships about how Mark’s heart is as beautiful as his face – but Jaebum hasn’t met the guy yet.

 

Mark is Jackson’s friend back in Hong Kong, a quiet and princely American, and Jinyoung met him during summer break. _Jackson asked me to help his friend Mark move in his apartment and he’s so nice, Jaebummie! You should meet him_ , Jaebum remembers the first of Jinyoung’s many text messages to him the day he met Mark, both he and Jackson arranging meetings and hangouts for Mark and Jaebum to meet since then, but his schedule and the other’s – who, he learned much later, had worked part-time for his father’s colleague – won’t fit, so there’s that.

 

It’s not like Jaebum is making excuses not to meet the guy Jinyoung has been showering praises for the past months. No, definitely not. That would be pathetic. And juvenile.

 

“Would you even visit me had I been at home? Wouldn’t you be spending your time with, you know, _other_ friends?”

 

“By other friends, you meant Jackson and Mark-hyung, right?” Jinyoung says cautiously, looking down at Jaebum, and Jaebum knows he catches the way he clenches his jaw at the mention of Mark’s name if Jinyoung’s wince is anything to go by. Jaebum gives no response; instead, he just stares at Jinyoung, daring him to say more. “Are y-you… not f-fine, with me being f-friends with – with Mark-hyung?”

 

Jaebum lifts his head up then, before slowly standing up to sit with Jinyoung in the window seat. Jinyoung hugs his legs, his chin propped on his knees, and Jaebum stares at him with so much inexplicable warmth that he knows would get through to Jinyoung. Jaebum reaches for Jinyoung’s hands, his calloused ones rough against Jinyoung’s smoother ones.

 

Jaebum wants to say _yes, I’m not fine with you getting close to him because I feel like I’ll lose you to him anytime_ , but he can’t. He can’t be possessive of Jinyoung, can’t be jealous of the time he spends with anyone, even Mark. _Especially Mark_. Jaebum can’t feel anything beyond platonic because he has drawn the line between them not long ago, and this what he exactly drew that line for.

 

Jaebum is afraid. Jaebum is afraid to lose Jinyoung and their closed-knit and established friendship for an unsure romantic relationship. Jaebum promised Jinyoung that he’d never risk this – whatever _this_ is that they have – for a romantic involvement with the other. It’s difficult and ridiculous, the path Jaebum decided to go, but it’s the safest place to be in.

 

Jinyoung agreed when Jaebum drew the line, agreed to be on the other end of it, which just ratified Jaebum’s surmise of his feelings being one-sided.

 

“Jaebongi,” Jinyoung says softly, murmurs muffled by his knees. He looks shy, _adorably shy_ , with his cheeks rosy and eyes at Jaebum. It’s been a while since Jaebum heard the nickname, and he still loves the way the syllables roll on Jinyoung’s tongue, the way his honey voice drawls the vowels lazily.

 

Jaebum sighs, before lifting Jinyoung’s left hand, his lips brushing lightly on his knuckles. “You don’t need to have my permission to do anything, you know?” Jaebum says gently, but deep down he hopes his permission really does matter to Jinyoung. “I’m sorry I can’t go with you and Jackson when you visit him, but I’ll try my best, okay?”

 

Jinyoung seems content with that, his eyes suddenly sparkling brighter than the stars above, and Jaebum finds life in them. He lives for it, Jaebum realizes. For Jinyoung’s bright eyes and bubbly smiles. And it’s then that he confirms how he is willing to do and give up everything – _anything_ – if it means seeing Jinyoung in bliss.

 

(“Why the sudden visit on a Thursday night, anyway?” Jaebum asks much, much later, when they’re at the bed after Jaebum showered, Jinyoung pillowing Jaebum’s arm and his head nuzzled at the crook of Jaebum’s neck.

 

“I suddenly craved for kimbap and… well,” Jinyoung says cheekily, and Jaebum can feel him grinning against his collarbones. “I remembered your packed lunch from earlier, and I kinda hoped there would be leftovers, so—yah! Im Jaebum!” Jinyoung doesn’t finish his sentence as Jaebum’s fingers find his sides and he squeals, Jaebum’s carefully patted blanket anything but neat.)

 

* * *

 

“Director Ahn?” Jaebum calls gently, head peeking on the slightly ajar door of the Director’s Office. It’s a Friday morning, the first period barely starting, and Jaebum is called by the director to his office, his name ringing around the school as it was being announced through the PA system.

 

“Ah, Jaebum-ah, come in,” the director says, and when Jaebum gets in completely, he sees a flash of blonde hair. As the council president, Jaebum knows every student in their high school, and this one is definitely not a schoolmate.

 

Jaebum continuously eyes the blonde seated in front of the director, eyes not leaving him even after Director Ahn asked him to sit across the guy.

 

“This is Yi-en,” the director says, hands gesturing to the blonde. “And, Mr. Tuan, this is Im Jaebum, the council president.” Jaebum’s suspicion of the other blonde being a transferee is proven true as the director goes on in talking to Yi-en about school ethics and stuff and when he finishes, Yi-en nods politely, before looking at Jaebum, the unvoiced query of _can we go now_ relayed through his eyes. When they both shuffle out of the office, Jaebum brings Yi-en to the council office, where he sits in his spot on the head of the table, and Mark takes the seat to his left.

 

“You okay?” Jaebum asks, shuffling through the files he grabbed before sitting. “What do you want to know?”

 

“You? Do you have anything to ask me?” Yi-en questions back, not answering Jaebum’s question. It’s not immodest, Mark’s tone, but one with an underlying mirth beneath it. Not too much where Jaebum feels he’s being mocked, but enough to give off an amiable atmosphere, a silent invitation to friendship. “It’s okay to ask, president. I don’t bite,” Yi-en adds with a chuckle, and Jaebum shakes his head.

 

“I think you have an answer to my question already, anyway.”

 

“I do. But please, be my guest.”

 

With his right elbow propped on the table and his chin on top of the back of his hand, Jaebum looks at Yi-en. “I hope it’s not rude to ask, but how are you related to the Tuans of 21 Towers?” Jaebum asks, and Yi-en doesn’t look a bit daunted. Instead, he smiles.

 

“The same way you are related to the Ims of Im Holdings,” Yi-en replies, and the laugh Jaebum shares with Yi-en reverberates in the room, lectures about student ethics all long forgotten.

 

It’s been a while since Jaebum has heard of his father’s company being linked to him, and it usually irks him. Not that he hates his family – he totally doesn’t – but he just wants to live on his own and not under the shadows of his father’s surname. Jaebum won’t be running away when his father hands down their business which supplies a fourth of the world’s transportation necessities, either. He just wants to live life simply while he still can. Exactly the reason why he chose to live far from Seoul, far from the city where his father is so known Jaebum can’t even deny their relation. Here, in Ulsan, Jaebum is a mere student, and classmates respect him not because of his affluence, but because he’s worth the respect.

 

After the laughter died down and Jaebum was finally able to do the task bestowed upon him, he learns that Yi-en shares the same sentiment. Except he has to transfer almost every year because 21 Towers has been providing almost every country’s engineering needs, and it’s harder for Yi-en to keep a low profile. Unlike Jaebum, however, Yi-en doesn’t want to take over when the time comes; Yi-en’s mind is set on pursuing his dreams of dancing. Jaebum nods and smiles at him, and with a promise of keeping everything they talked about between them, Jaebum stands up and motions Yi-en to follow him so they could fetch his books and uniform.

 

Except they weren’t able to open and come out of the door before someone opens it and barges inside, and Jaebum knows who already. It’s an unspoken rule not to lock the door of the council office in case any of them gets needed by any faculty, and it’s not like anyone opens the door unannounced, anyways. Well, except Jinyoung.

 

“Jaeb—Markie!” Jinyoung doesn’t finish calling Jaebum’s name before the former is jumping on Yi-en, hands tight around the transferee’s neck. Yi-en doesn’t flinch, not a bit surprised by the contact, and instead wraps his hands around Jinyoung’s waist. The two seems to be fine and comfortable with the contact, but Jaebum isn’t. If anything, he’s far from comfortable, watching someone else’s hands wrapped around Jinyoung. So Jaebum clears his throat.

 

“Jinyoung,” he calls when Jinyoung doesn’t move, and hadn’t Yi-en pushed him a little, Jinyoung won’t budge.

 

“Ah, my fault! I was totally surprised to see Mark-hyung here,” Jinyoung replies cheekily. Jaebum waits for him to move to his side and cling to his arm, but Jinyoung doesn’t. Instead, he clings on Yi-en’s slimmer arms. “Jackson and I can’t reach you! We can’t call you and you’re not answering our messages and—“

 

“I believe you have a class to attend to, Jinyoung,” Jaebum says irritably when Jinyoung continuously talks to Yi-en and ignores his presence.

 

“Ah, right. Anyway, I went here because you were gone the whole first period, I thought you’re in some trouble or something,” Jinyoung’s words are directed to him finally, and if he sees the irritation and unhidden annoyance in Jaebum’s expressions, he doesn’t comment. “I’ll see you at lunch!”

 

* * *

 

Jaebum usually spends lunch with Jinyoung and Jackson, but lunch that Friday is spent with Mark – Jackson made Jaebum call Yi-en Mark because _you’ll be the only one calling him Yi-en and it would be weird_ – and so are all the lunch breaks after that day. Jaebum made friends with Mark already, even before he knew that the transferee he was talking to was the same person Jinyoung and Jackson wanted him to meet, and the two thought it wouldn’t be awkward.

 

But it is. At least, for Jaebum, it is.

 

Mark is a nice person; he’s basically an angel even with the loud, ungracious laugh he sports whenever Jackson delivers his lamest jokes. Even with the brutal and sharp bite to his tongue sometimes, Jaebum knows all the words coming out of his mouth are genuine and full of honesty. He’s a considerate person, too—trying his best not to be a burden to anyone. Jackson is indeed right when he said Mark’s heart is as beautiful as his face, and that’s what worries Jaebum the most.

 

Or threatens, really. Jaebum is not worried; he’s threatened.

 

Mark is always calm and peaceful even in the middle of storm, unlike Jaebum who is the storm himself. Jaebum’s calm exterior can easily snap with one wrong move, and it would take anything in its path to destruction. Jaebum is threatened Jinyoung would fall for Mark’s serenity.

 

Mark is many things: he’s quiet but is fun to talk to; he seldom talks but is a keen observer; he always watches, always observes, and he notices things anyone wouldn’t even pay attention to. He’s kind and wonderful and honest and sweet and tender and heedful and patient and everything Jaebum isn’t.

 

With all the negativity in his thoughts, he unconsciously tips over his glass, all its content spilling on his duvet. He hears a squeal, followed by a high-pitched _yah, hyung, watch your drink!_ and Jaebum looks up, momentarily forgetting his juniors in school invited themselves in his house one Saturday evening after they saw Jaebum exiting the public library.

 

“Maybe if you’ll stop thinking about Mark-hyung and Jinyoungie-hyung, you won’t spill your juice on anything,” Yugyeom chastises him, pushing him off the bed to remove the duvet and put it in the hamper. Jaebum trundles unceremoniously on the floor, but is too tired to chase Yugyeom in a headlock, so he leaves himself at that.

 

“I’m not thinking of them,” Jaebum says lazily, and Youngjae laughs loudly from the opposite end of the room, hands shuffling the DVDs lined on the shelf beside the huge TV.

 

“I heard they’re dating already,” Kunpimook – or Bambam, if anyone’s too lazy to say his mouthful of a name – pries, then, “Mark-hyung always holds him so closely, I didn’t even question the rumor when I heard it.”

 

Jaebum clenches his jaw at this, and it takes all his will-power not to throw Bambam out of the window right there and then. Youngjae laughs, louder this time, before adding fuel to the fire burning in Jaebum’s chest.

 

“Jinyoungie-hyung’s also convincing Mark-hyung to accept the lead role for Winter Solstice!” At this, Jaebum sits up—which apparently is the reaction the three of them are waiting because Yugyeom immediately positions himself beside Jaebum, Bambam and Youngjae sitting cross-legged in front of their affronted hyung.

 

“The play he’d been dying on last year?” Jaebum says, and the three nods at him, waiting for him to continue. “He’s asking Mark to be the lead? Of that play?” he adds, and he dislikes the way his voice sharpened when he mentioned Mark’s name.

 

Jinyoung has always been an actor in the Drama Club, taking lead roles at every important plays since freshman year. But it has been his dream to write a screenplay, to work behind the stage and grace the world with his writing prowess. He started with his piece at summer before junior year, and Jaebum knows how Jinyoung struggled to it, finding the right words to fit in every scene, the right emotions for his characters. Jaeyoung and Moonbyul, the protagonists of Winter Solstice, are Jinyoung’s babies. It took him months on their characterization alone, and Jinyoung cried legit tears when he’s done, finally getting started with the script itself. Jaebum knows how they, and all the other characters in the play, are so precious to Jinyoung. He knows Jinyoung just won’t hand the roles to anyone. Jaebum teased Jinyoung once, then, that _it would take your play decades before coming to life if you’d be so picky of the people who’d take the role_ to which Jinyoung replied with a timid smile and a soft whisper of _then you have to take Jaeyoung’s role because I trust that you can do it more than anyone_.

 

Jaebum laughs bitterly at the memory. Apparently, someone came along whom Jinyoung can trust Jaeyoung’s role with, making Jaebum unneeded. Four months later – if Jaebum would count the two months Jinyoung met Mark prior to senior year – and this is what has become of Jaebum.

 

Bambam’s voice pulls Jaebum out of his bittersweet flashback. “Mark-hyung hasn’t agreed yet, so I don’t know. Maybe I’d suggest Jinyoung-hyung to at least kiss Mark-hyung so he would say yes,” he vexes, eyeing Jaebum wickedly.

 

Yugyeom and Youngjae shoot Bambam daggers, before Youngjae plops himself on Jaebum’s thighs. “Don’t cry, hyung. Maybe Jinyoung-hyung would still be asking you for the role,” Youngjae says, and though it’s not much to hold on to, he still smiles at the younger, ignoring Bambam’s cruel snarls of _don’t put his hopes too high!_

 

Though Jaebum finds out the next Monday that what Youngjae learned from Nayeon, a freshman in the Drama Club, is true. Jinyoung verifies it himself. They are at lunch, Jinyoung sitting beside Jaebum with Mark and Jackson across them when Jinyoung mentions it around him for the first time.

 

“Markie,” Jinyoung drawls in a cute way, and Jaebum would find it overly adorable at any time, except it isn’t his name being said so he doesn’t budge. “This would be a good credential for you if you’re going to pursue performing arts!”

 

“Jinyoung-ah, I told you, I would major in Dancing, or anything on that line, but not acting,” Mark replies calmly, patting Jinyoung’s hand on the table. Jaebum ignores them and continues eating his food. Suddenly, the kimchi tastes so bitter in his mouth.

 

“But still—“

 

“Can you at least eat first before bothering him,” Jaebum cuts, irked. “And what is this about, anyway? Why do I not know this?” Jaebum queries, half-hurt and half-offended, and he hears Jackson’s hyena laugh. He ignores him and the wicked glint in his eyes, focusing on Jinyoung instead.

 

“Well, uhm,” Jinyoung tries, but he stutters so he stops. Then, after a few inhales and exhales, he tries again, “Winter Solstice got accepted to be the script of this year’s winter play. And, I – I am looking for someone to fill Jaeyoung’s role.”

 

 _I would gladly volunteer_ , Jaebum wants to say, but dismisses it as quickly as it appears on his head. Instead, he says, “And by someone, you mean Mark?” Jaebum hopes Jackson’s laugh does not mean the shorter male caught the jealous lilt to his question.

 

“Yes!” Jinyoung says, brightly, before his shoulders sag down. “But he doesn’t want to do it,” Jinyoung continues in a whiny way.

 

“Or maybe I do, now,” Mark interjects later, when Jaebum doesn’t respond. Jinyoung’s eyes seem to twinkle at this, and Jaebum might be a little irate seeing him so focused on anyone else but him.

 

“Yes, yes, please reconsider!” Jinyoung says, almost screaming. It’s annoying how Jaebum can’t ignore the fact that Mark could make Jinyoung literally jump up in joy when he says yes. “The play would be on December 17th, and practices would start at the first week of October, which is still two weeks from now!”

 

Mark hums in consideration. Though if Jaebum would be honest, he thinks Mark is going to say yes already, because really, just who can say no to Jinyoung?

 

“Senior students who would be taking the SATs would be freed from practice two weeks before the exam, too! Three hours of practice every day, eight hours on Saturdays, and none on Sundays and holidays! Mark-hyung,” Jinyoung pleads, puppy eyes right in front of Mark.

 

Mark laughs, pats Jinyoung’s head, then says, “Fine, I’ll do this for you,” Mark says, and Jinyoung stands up from his seat to run to Mark’s side, embracing the other in a warm hug. “Though, I may need your help too. Just, a little favor, maybe?”

 

Jinyoung nods enthusiastically at him, ready to say yes to anything Mark would ask. Jaebum, however, starts thinking of possible substitutes in case he can’t let Jinyoung do whatever it is Mark would ask him to.

 

“One of the hotels my Dad helped building would be celebrating their 25th anniversary this weekend and he asked me if I could come in his place, and I may be in need of a… date, perhaps?” Mark asks seamlessly, hands on Jinyoung’s waist. Jaebum almost stands up and flips their table at that, but he tries, with all the control he has left in his system, to keep calm and composed. His eyes are so concentrated on Mark’s hands on Jinyoung’s waist that he fails to notice Mark’s meaningful glare at him. “It would be in Yeouido, and if you can’t stay the night, I’d drive you home.”

 

Jaebum looks down at his food by this time, the kimchi he unconsciously played messy on his plate, chanting _say no, say no, say no_. He feels a pair of eyes stare at him, and he resists the urge to look up and meet them. After sixty dragging seconds, Jaebum hears a bubbly _of course, I’d be your date, hyung_ , before he forcefully swallows the bitter lump in his throat along with his lame excuse of a lunch.

 

* * *

 

Weekdays passed by in a blur, and when Jaebum wakes up that morning to Nora licking his nose and scratching his cheeks, he realizes it’s Saturday already, and he almost coerces himself to sleep again until it’s Sunday, or maybe until he skips this part of his life where he’s hurting for a stupid decision he brought himself to make.

 

Jinyoung tried inviting Jaebum to the party, with Mark supporting his invitation by telling him he can attend with at least four other friends, but Jaebum tried his best not to succumb to Jinyoung’s pleas and rejected the invitation that came his way every day.

 

It didn’t help that Jackson is coming, too, because Jinyoung just found someone to join forces with in convincing Jaebum to come. He almost handed the two uncalled detention slips in irritation.

 

Mark tried talking him to attend, too, though the elder sort of expected the rejection that came his way, smiling at him through it. What Jaebum didn’t expect was the glint in his eyes; it’s teasing, but not mocking. Jaebum was torn between asking him what he had in mind or letting it pass, but he chose the latter, thinking he’d like to keep his peace of mind, _thank you very much_.

 

Jaebum stops from wondering when he hears a shriek of _meow_ , most definitely Nora. He takes a look at his little princess and sees her eyeing his phone with so much disdain, and he laughs at her. She is probably shocked when it vibrated, Jaebum concludes as he picks his phone up and sees a message.

 

**From: Jirongie**

Hyung… you really won’t go? :(

_Sent 5:35 PM_

**To: Jirongie**

I’m busy, didn’t I tell you?

_Sent 5:35 PM_

**From: Jirongie**

By busy, you mean busy watching the Harry Potter series AGAIN?

_Sent 5:36 PM_

**To: Jirongie**

If there’s anyone who’s in love with the series between us two, wouldn’t that be you?

_Sent 5:37 PM_

**To: Jirongie**

Aren’t Mark supposed to pick you up at 6? Are you prepared already?

_Sent 5:37 PM_

**From: Jirongie**

He’s here already, chatting with mom. Is this your way of telling me to stop talking to you?

_Sent 5:39 PM_

At that reply, Jaebum dials Jinyoung’s number. He picks up at the second ring.

 

“I’m just worried you’d be late,” Jaebum says the moment Jinyoung picks up in lieu of a greeting, afraid Jinyoung would drop the call if he won’t explain immediately. “I didn’t mean to offend you, or anything.”

 

Jaebum heaves a sigh he was aware he’s holding when Jinyoung chuckles, his voice soothing even through the static of the phone. “I should troll you more if that would get you to call me.”

 

“Hey, that’s not funny,” Jaebum says, but he’s silently glad to hear Jinyoung’s voice. There’s just something soothing, calming, on the way Jinyoung enunciates the words coming out of his mouth, that Jaebum wants to hear more of him.

 

“But you are,” Jinyoung argues, and Jaebum hears the light edge to his tone. “By the way, I got to go. You can text me anytime if you need me, I just don’t know if I can answer calls. That’s a formal event, right?”

 

Jaebum sighs at this, and he realizes he wouldn’t suffer much had he agreed to go. “Yes, it’s a formal event so it would be rude to take unimportant calls, okay?”

 

“But your call is never unimportant,” Jinyoung says quickly, and Jaebum would be lying if he says his heart didn’t thrash at it.

 

None of them speaks a little after that, and Jaebum thinks Jinyoung dropped the call already hadn’t he heard the familiar voice of Jinyoung’s mom telling him to go downstairs and get going.

 

“I guess that’s my cue to end this call now,” Jaebum comments a beat later, and he feels Jinyoung nod at the other end.

 

“I guess,” Jinyoung says, and Jaebum could sense the tense bite in his voice. “Just call me if you need anything urgent, like—“

 

“Like food for Nora, yes, I will,” Jaebum cuts Jinyoung off, and they both laugh, before finally ending the call that would probably be the last for tonight, because Jaebum decides he can’t spend the night awake and thinking how Jinyoung is enjoying Mark’s company.

 

Except Jaebum doesn’t get the sleep he’d looked forward to after turning the television off, because apparently, his juniors never know when to and not to disturb him. Sighing in frustration, Jaebum answers Youngjae’s call that came twenty minutes after he dropped his call to Jinyoung.

 

“Hyung!” Jaebum swears he almost falls from sitting on the edge of his bed from the dizziness brought about by the three’s chorus of screams. “Hyung, hyung, hyung, hyu—“

 

“Stop it!” Jaebum yells, loud enough to have Nora jolting awake in fright. Jaebum coos her, lifting her up gently before putting her up in his lap, lulling her to sleep again. With a gentler voice now, Jaebum continues, “What are you doing calling me so late at night?”

 

“It isn’t late yet, hyung!” That’s Bambam, Jaebum knows, and he’s almost afraid how near his shriek sounded.

 

“It’s just a little past six, you old man!” That daring one’s Yugyeom, and Jaebum rolls his eyes. So much for being their hyung. “Get up and open the door, Jaebum-hyung!”

 

“Or we’ll burn your house to ashes!”

 

“And what are you all doing in my house, you fetuses?” Jaebum queries, gritting his teeth in an annoyed manner. Though, after years of experience, he knows this is just how far his anger would get. Once he sees Youngjae’s face that seems to be the sunshine at night, or Bambam’s cheeky smile, or Yugyeom’s toothed grin, Jaebum knows he’s bound to agree to whatever mischievous plot these kids have in mind.

 

“I’m taller than you, hyung! You microorganism!” Yugyeom retorts, and Jaebum stands up and walks to the front door then, laughing at how Youngjae disagreed on calling Jaebum a microorganism because Youngjae would end up being the virus, and Bambam just laughing at the ridiculousness of these all. And Jaebum does cackle, too, because he realizes how these kids have grown on him like _E. coli_ on a room temperature beef.

 

Jaebum opens the door to let the three in, but he realizes it was the biggest mistake he’s ever done when he gets pushed up and into the bathroom in his room, Youngjae insisting that he take a bath before they fix him up. Jaebum is given no time to recuperate at the sudden intrusion nor question why the hell is Bambam holding a designer clothing line’s paper bag.

 

His unspoken question regarding the designer clothes are answered the moment he steps out of the bathroom fifteen minutes later and his towel is wrapped around his waist, as he eyes the crisp white tuxedo top, black dress shirt, and black slacks Bambam carefully laid on the bed, brushing the nonexistent dust on them.

 

“Ah, hyung! Come quick and wear this—“

 

“Bam,” Jaebum says, but the younger won’t budge. “ _Kunpimook_ ,” he calls again, voice strident and stern. Hearing him use the tone, the fiasco inside his room stops, and Jaebum heaves a deep exhale. “Can someone tell me what is going on?” he asks, eyeing the three younger boys in his room.

 

“It’s irritating to see you moping around and complaining how Jinyoung-hyung would be spending the night with Mark-hyung when you can be there with him too, you know?” Yugyeom says matter-of-factly, and Youngjae and Bambam nods in assertion. “The only thing hindering you from being happy with Jinyoung-hyung is your denial.”

 

“You don’t get it,” Jaebum argues.

 

“Oh, how friendship is more important than a romantic relationship? How you would prefer to be friends with him forever? Yeah, then suck up the fact that Jinyoung-hyung would be dating anyone but you.”

 

Jaebum hates it. He hates how Yugyeom makes sense, hates how the three younger males could put sense in his dense mind. He looks at Yugyeom, and he sees the challenging gaze the younger has on him. Jaebum shuts his eyes close, heaves a sigh as deep as he could, before meeting the three pairs of eyes across him.

 

And that’s how Jaebum finds himself on the entrance of Prestige, the huge hotel in Yeouido that Mark mentioned. He’s alone and clueless as to how the younger boys got him an invitation to the event, and Jaebum heaves the deepest sigh he took so far. With a final pull to the white coat atop the black dress shirt, Jaebum gets in, his cheeky juniors hours away, having decided to guard his house in case bad people barge in.

 

* * *

 

“He looks like a personified Prince Charming, in all fairness. No wonder you’re staring.”

 

A mirthful feminine voice pulls Jaebum out of his trance, and he realizes he hasn’t done anything for the past ninety minutes but stare at Jinyoung—and watch wherever Mark’s hands are going. It’s none of his concerns, though, but still.

 

“I’m not staring,” Jaebum defenses, before taking a sip on the champagne in his flute.

 

The girl laughs, and her long, professionally curved black hair shakes as she does so. “I’m Solar, by the way. Im Jaebum, right?” Jaebum frowns, but nods. “Where’s Youngjae?”

 

“How did you know Youngjae?”

 

“I met him on a piano recital. He played for my performance,” the girl says, and Jaebum smiles at the crescent her eyes have become when she laughs. “And in case he didn’t tell you, you got the invitation through me.”

 

Jaebum bows at her this time. “I’m sorry if I don’t know you, but – thank you.”

 

The girl pats him on the head, careful of destroying his styled hair. “Please, don’t be so formal around me. Even though I basically own the entire place you’re in right now,” she says, introducing herself. Jaebum looks at her, surprised, but is caught off-guard when Solar laughs loudly and ungraciously, the white pearls behind her pink lips exposed in an inelegant way. “Ah, you’re cute.”

 

Solar stays with Jaebum then, enjoying the slight solitude they have in the corner table Jaebum purposively chose so he can watch Jinyoung from afar without being noticed. Solar might be the heiress of Prestige’s line of hotels, but she doesn’t act like one—figuratively and literally. She grew up rich and is treated all her life so, but she doesn’t speak so highly of herself. She’s messy and peppy but is not in any way lenient. Jaebum is enjoying her company, until she behaved in an unusual way, before her eyes glint in a way Jaebum cannot define.

 

“If I get eaten by a monster today, I would like you to know I did not regret being your friend,” Solar says, before grasping Jaebum’s arm and shutting her eyes close. She’s feigning fright, but Jaebum feels her shaking from stifling her laughter. Though before he can even ask, he feels a familiar touch to his shoulder, the heaviness of the weight almost pushing Jaebum in hell.

 

“Jaebum.”

 

Jaebum looks up to meet the eyes of the person he’d been watching the whole night, and he is stupefied when he sees Jinyoung’s princely beauty up close. Jaebum almost feels himself raising his palms up to wipe his drool.

 

Jaebum admires Jinyoung’s three-piece suit, and realizes how he badly wants to be that vest, hugging Jinyoung’s body tightly, exposing his right shapes and curves. His hair looks like a disheveled mess atop his beautiful face, but Jaebum knows it’s a practiced tousle Jinyoung does on his hair on occasions. Solar is right – Jinyoung looks like a Prince Charming out of Disney’s fairytales – and Jaebum has to ask for the fairy godmother’s help to grant him enough self-control so he won’t attack Jinyoung and eat him right there, right now.

 

Jaebum is pulled from his reverie when he feels Solar tug at his arm she’s grasping, head hang low, laughter stifled behind the mess of her hair. It’s then that he realizes he hasn’t replied to Jinyoung yet.

 

“Where’s Mark?” is the first, and the most stupid thing that comes out of Jaebum’s mouth. He feels Solar pinch him a little, but no can do since his tongue got ahead of him.

 

Jinyoung swallows, his throat bobbing up and down and Jaebum’s eyes unconsciously follows the motion. Then, “He’s with Jackson, and they’re drinking, I think.”

 

“Oh,” is Jaebum’s only reply. For a moment, Jaebum is just staring at Jinyoung, the younger meeting his gaze with so much intensity. It’s weird, how Jaebum feels so clueless on Jinyoung’s expressions and reactions now, like his sight is being clouded by a force, preventing him to comprehend Jinyoung vividly like the old times.

 

It’s like he doesn’t know Jinyoung anymore. Or he doesn’t want to recognize the Jinyoung staring back at him, licking unconsciously at his lips, eyes stern on him and at the slim fingers grasping on his arm.

 

It only lasted for a few minutes – the awkward encounter with Jinyoung – but Jaebum feels like it lasted for at least half an eternity. Jinyoung leaves after a few good minutes of not saying anything and just staring, and Solar tirades him with _ah, jinjja, jinjja! Jaebummie, you babo-yah!_ before Jaebum curtly stops her whines when he feels his phone vibrate.

 

**From: Yi-en**

Jaebum-ah, do you mind driving us all back in Ulsan? I’m a little drunk.

_Sent 11:23 PM_

“Is that a death threat? You’re frowning,” Solar observes, and Jaebum notes how keen she is despite seeming like she doesn’t care about the world.

 

“It’s – It’s Mark.”

 

“Hm, Tuan?” Jaebum nods. It’s amazing how Solar seems to know _everyone_ in the party. “Ah, your Jinyoungie’s blonde date! What did he say? Is he dating Jinyou—aw, that hurts!” Jaebum flicks Solar’s forehead, stopping her from putting unwanted thoughts in Jaebum’s mind.

 

“He asks me if I could drive us home,” Jaebum replies with a glare Solar intentionally ignores.

 

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you soon, then! Probably in—“

 

“I didn’t say I said yes, did I?”

 

“You know about not allowing a drunken person to drive, right?”

 

“He’s not drunk. He’s just a _little_ drunk.”

 

“Okay. Just so you know, if Jinyoung dies, I won’t solace yo—“

 

Jaebum groans at the mischief in Solar’s voice. Standing up, he mutters an “I hate you,” before jogging towards the direction Jinyoung left off earlier and tries looking for his friends, ignoring Solar’s high-pitched, attention-seeking laughter.

 

Mark and Jackson are easily found with how loud Jackson have become with the excess alcohol in his system, and Jinyoung is thankfully with them so it doesn’t take long before Jaebum is revving the engine of Mark’s car, but a few minutes into the drive and Jaebum already regrets letting Solar’s guilt-tripping get to him.

 

He sighs for the umpteenth time that night, his head throbbing in distress even before he could drive them all out of Seoul. With his right hand still on the steering wheel, Jaebum massages his temple with his left, elbow propped on the window. It’s boring without Jinyoung enthusiastically recalling the night’s events at him, Jaebum realizes, and he wonders when they have become so awkward when put in a cramped vehicle.

 

“I thought you’re not going,” Jinyoung says after a troubling time of silence, and Jaebum almost jumps up from the driver’s seat. Jinyoung is fidgeting with his fingers when Jaebum spares him a look.

 

“Oh, I thought so too.” Jinyoung eyes him then, dark orbs relaying an unspoken question of _then why?_ “The kids sort of forced me to here, and – yeah.”

 

“So I’m not reason enough for you to go,” Jinyoung confirms in a forlorn voice, and Jaebum almost bangs his head in the steering wheel. Jaebum is always a disappointment to Jinyoung, and he deserves to suffer in grief.

 

“You know I didn’t mean that.”

 

“That’s what I felt, anyway,” Jinyoung says, and the quiver in his response doesn’t go unnoticed.

 

Jaebum swerves the car carefully to the side and this catches Jinyoung in surprise. They’re still hours away from home, and Jaebum knows he won’t be able to focus on anything until Jinyoung is feeling better, feeling a little less disappointed in him. He stops the engine of the car before looking at Jinyoung.

 

“Jirongie,” Jaebum calls placatingly, hands reaching out to Jinyoung. And when he hears a sniff, Jaebum removes his seatbelt so he could hug the younger. “Come here,” he says, extending his arms. But before he can envelop Jinyoung in an embrace, the younger swats his hands away.

 

“No. Don’t touch me,” Jinyoung says, and the venom in his voice scares Jaebum.

 

“Jinyoung—“

 

“No, don’t,” Jinyoung says harshly, though his demeanor almost crumbles when a sob spills from his lips. “I – I am so tired of you ignoring me! I’m…” Jinyoung is trembling, shaking violently from stifling his tears. “I’m so hurt and tormented and I am downright offended how I’m your best friend but you seem to be avoiding me!”

 

“Jinyoung-ah…” Jaebum’s heart is beating erratically in his chest, the pain in Jinyoung’s calm features gripping at his heart like a vice.

 

“I asked you a lot of times to come with us here, to spend time and hang out, but you declined. But when Youngjae asked you…,” Jinyoung trails, and he wipes his tears with the back of his hands before continuing, “And then I see you here, holding hands with a girl I don’t even know. What happened to being best friends and letting in on each other’s secrets?” Jinyoung wails, and Jaebum wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of these, but he can’t. Not when Jinyoung is letting his heart out. Not when Jinyoung is probably having a problem only a tenth of Jaebum’s.

 

Jaebum stays quiet, and he keeps his arms to his sides. He thinks Jinyoung won’t speak again, but the younger tugs at the sleeves of Jaebum’s dress shirt so he looks up.

 

“I – I didn’t know I’ll lose you in exchange of getting myself a new friend.” And then Jinyoung is bawling his eyes out uncontrollably, the sound of his sobs thundering in Jaebum’s ears.

 

“No. No, no, no, Jinyoung-ah. No,” Jaebum replies in alarm. He knows Jinyoung might thwack his hands away again, but he doesn’t care as he encages the younger in a warm embrace, and he sighs in relief when Jinyoung settles in his embrace, Jaebum’s hands tracing patterns on Jinyoung’s back.

 

They stay like that for what feels like hours. Jaebum, for once, is clueless on how to cajole the younger aside from tracing soothing patterns on his back. Jinyoung continues crying in Jaebum’s arms, and he had been for quite some time that Jaebum actually feels his tears beneath the dress shirt.

 

Jaebum is waiting for Jinyoung to speak up, to say anything, to do anything. But the younger stays immobile except for the shaking of his body from silently weeping. And then he’s pulling away from the hug.

 

“I’m – I’m sorry,” Jinyoung says, eyes finding interest in his lap.

 

Jaebum caresses Jinyoung’s clothed arms, before his hands rest on Jinyoung trembling hands. He holds it tightly, firmly, not letting the younger go. He’s keeping a gentle grip on it, hopefully sending Jinyoung a feel of the enormous wild fire burning in his chest, eating and taking him alive, incinerating his insides mercilessly, and Jaebum wants to cry, too.

 

* * *

 

Neither of them speaks about what happened in the car after Jaebum revved it again, and the silence between them dragged on until days later, and Jaebum confirms Jinyoung is starting to pretend he doesn’t exist at all. It’s painful – how Jinyoung ignores him, treats him like air whenever he passes by him at the hallway and _in their common classes_ – but Jaebum believes this is what he needs. He needs this much – and so much more – pain, until he numbs and his heart doesn’t feel anything at all. No more pain of being treated like he’s nonexistent, and no more chest palpitations and rapid heartbeats.

 

Jinyoung didn’t even bother to attend the opening of the Photography Club’s exhibit where Jaebum is in, and it should be fine. But it isn’t. Because Jinyoung’s absence will never be okay.

 

So it’s totally a shocker to see Jinyoung in his usual spot on the window seat of Jaebum’s room, unsurprisingly clad in Jaebum’s own shirt and boxers, though he’s not reading a book this time, just merely petting Nora in his lap. It’s 10:34 in the evening, and weekend is coming in an hour, and Jinyoung decided to show up just now.

 

“You weren’t at the exhibit,” is the first thing Jaebum says, putting no effort in hiding the bitter hurt bite in his tone. Jinyoung looks up at him then, and for a split-second, Jaebum thinks Jinyoung would go up and jump at him.

 

“Sorry,” Jinyoung mumbles, eyes finding amusement in the rag Jaebum puts just below his bed. “Mark-hyung—“

 

“Wow, okay, stop,” Jaebum interrupts immediately. “You were with Mark? You know how important this exhibit is to me, right? This would be the last exhibit I’ll be doing before focusing on business studies in college, you know that. And the last thing I need to hear is you, being absent on the opening, because you’re with Mark.”

 

Jinyoung winces visibly, and his eyes look watery. Jaebum stares at him for a moment before sitting at the edge of his bed. Jinyoung follows suit, sitting at the foot of the bed, arms hugging Jaebum’s legs.

 

“Jaebummie,” Jinyoung coos. “I am so sorry.”

 

Jaebum shuts his eyes so tightly until he sees white behind them, and he takes a deep sigh. He remembers how Jinyoung always makes time for events important to Jaebum – how he would cancel Drama Club meetings or practices for the opening of Photography Club’s exhibits; how Jinyoung would choose to go to different exhibits of Jaebum’s favorite photographers instead of taking a well-deserved sleep he’d been looking forward to for a week. Jinyoung has done so many sacrifices and compromises for Jaebum, and he could’ve easily let this one absence slip hadn’t the younger mentioned Mark. It’s petty and Jaebum knows he’s being unreasonable, but he can’t control the pain screaming angrily at his chest.

 

Jaebum is scared of losing Jinyoung, but the thought of losing Jinyoung for good to someone else is a monster eating Jaebum alive.

 

When Jaebum opens his eyes, he removes Jinyoung’s arms wrapped around his legs before muttering in a cold voice, “You know what? It’s getting late. You should go.”

 

This seems to snap Jinyoung’s anger as he stands up rather quickly, and Jaebum thinks he could’ve fallen off the bed with how fast Jinyoung stood up. “Why are you so prissy about me being with Mark when you’re with Solar the entire day? I was actually surprised you even noticed my absence!”

 

Jaebum squints at Jinyoung, and he doesn’t know if it’s a trick of the moon or there’s a lump of liquid forming at the edges of Jinyoung’s ferocious eyes. “Will you please stop dragging Solar into this.”

 

“Then stop spitting Mark-hyung’s name with so much disdain!”

 

“Why? Can’t handle someone bad-mouthing your boyfriend?”

 

“What – wait what?” Jinyoung startles and Jaebum keeps his exterior, ignoring the befuddled look in Jinyoung’s eyes. “What. The. Actual. Fuck?”

 

Jaebum ignores Jinyoung, his back on him as he walks over to his closet and scans it for a trouser. When he sees a white one, he gets it and hands it to Jinyoung. “Come on. Let’s get you downstairs.”

 

Jinyoung’s armor seems to shatter then, Jaebum’s words oxidizing the metal covering him up, until they’re rusting and ruined and Jinyoung’s vulnerability is out for Jaebum to see again. The waterworks Jinyoung’s face has become surprises Jaebum, and he almost surrenders to the soft muttering in his conscience to cuddle up Jinyoung, to hold him close and stop his tears, but Jaebum holds on to his tough demeanor.

 

Which, also almost crumbles into the ground when Jinyoung sobs a weak, “Can I stay?”

 

Jaebum stares at Jinyoung, and his heart aches for the pain he sees in his eyes, too reflective of Jinyoung’s heart. Yes is Jaebum’s automatic answer to almost all of Jinyoung’s requests and favors, be it a mischief he plotted with Jackson that could put them all in danger or a serious request of staying over for a few days when the younger’s mom goes to Seoul to visit his dad. Jinyoung doesn’t even need to ask twice to get a yes out of Jaebum; a smile would be more than enough. Uttering a _yes_ to Jinyoung is as easy as exhaling a breath of air for Jaebum.

 

“No,” he answers, and Jinyoung stays frozen for a while. With a gentle pull, Jaebum is walking Jinyoung out, pushing him dumbfounded on the taxi he hailed.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum grumbles irritably as he opens his door to Jackson’s loud knocks on a rather peaceful Saturday night. It’s already dark outside and Jaebum is on his way to the kitchen to cook himself a decent dinner when Jackson screams loudly, giving Jaebum no choice but to actually open up. If Youngjae, Bam, and Yugyeom’s loud knocks are annoying, trust Jackson’s to be so much worse.

 

“What the—“

 

Jaebum falls flat on his butt when Jackson punches him, and he thinks his head almost snaps out of his neck from the unexpected blow. Jaebum may be the taller lad, but Jackson’s strength is no joke, and he hisses in pain. Jaebum looks up and Jackson doesn’t even look like he pained his knuckles. Jaebum caresses his abused jaw.

 

And then he sees Mark walking behind Jackson, before he hears a high-pitched squeal that sounded so much like—

 

“Solar?” Jaebum asks rather loudly, and he winces in pain at the effort. Jaebum doesn’t know if the blow shook him so much he’s starting to hear things, or was that really Solar.

 

“You said you won’t punch him so hard!” Solar chastises Jackson, before kneeling down to tend to Jaebum. “Get up, gramps. We’re eating dinner!”

 

Despite the pain in his jaw, Jaebum screams, “I am not eating dinner with—“

 

“Come on, man! It’s my treat!” Jackson says unapologetically, before he goes to drag Jaebum unceremoniously and pushes him at the backseat of what seems to be Solar’s car.

 

“And I don’t even have a say with all these? I think I need to be heard out after being punched,” Jaebum complains when Mark goes to the driver seat and revs the car, Jackson taking the shotgun seat, leaving Solar beside him and attending at his face.

 

“You don’t deserve to be treated well after treating Jinyoung so wretchedly, you know,” Jackson replies, tone serious all of a sudden. “I’m not sorry for punching you, man. I love you, but Jinyoung has my loyalty.”

 

Jaebum sighs at this, unable to dissent what Jackson just said because he’s right. Jinyoung doesn’t deserve Jaebum’s mistreatment, and he just deserves the punch Jackson gave. If anything, Jinyoung deserves all the love and protection this world and all the gods could offer.

 

“He does deserve the punch and more, to be honest. But Jinyoung would definitely kill you when he sees Jaebum tomorrow with a black eye,” Solar says, and Mark laughs in assertion. Jaebum is still wondering how Solar became friends with Jaebum’s friends. Probably one of her charms.

 

“I doubt he would even greet Jinyoung,” Jackson says, kneeling at his seat to glare at Jaebum. “When have you become so mean?”

 

“I’m not—“

 

“When he decided to keep his feelings at bay—which, obviously, is a mission impossible,” Solar responds, and Jackson nods at her, eyes gleaming with amazement.

 

“I am honestly so amazed how you became friends with my friends _and_ knew this much about my tragic life,” Jaebum says sarcastically, eyeing Solar who is pressing an ice pack the three of them had prepared for Jackson’s planned attack.

 

“It’s part of the charm! Didn’t I tell you?” Solar says, her smile all cheeks and teeth, and Jaebum just shakes his head before looking at Mark through the mirror, the oldest lad not saying a thing yet.

 

It started when Jinyoung barged in on the council room that day when Mark first transferred; Jaebum was particularly irked that Jinyoung wrapped himself around Mark, that he clung onto him when Jaebum was waiting for his arms to envelop him instead. Mark didn’t even faze, like Jinyoung clinging to him is as natural as the sun rising up every day. Or, it started – Jaebum’s unspoken rejection of Mark’s silent offer of friendship – when Jinyoung started pouring praises for Mark around Jaebum. Like Mark is the best person that ever graced the Earth (Jaebum silently agrees, but he won’t let anyone know it), and the ground he walks on deserves to be worshipped. Whenever that is, Jaebum hasn’t talked to Mark since. And the latter seems to notice too when he initiates a conversation with Jaebum after they entered the eatery Jackson picked and they were left alone when the two stood up to order.

 

“It has been so long, Jaebum-ah.” Jaebum only hums in reply. “You stopped eating lunch with us since weeks ago.” Jaebum nods. “And Jinyoung has been waiting for you all the time.”

 

This, of course, takes Jaebum’s attention away from his phone. He looks up at Mark and sees him with a triumphant smile on his face, probably from getting the reaction he wants by mentioning a name that would push Jaebum’s buttons.

 

“I’m surprised,” Jaebum says, sarcasm thick in his tone. “He seems to be so busy pretending I don’t exist.” Mark hums softly, but the glint in his eyes is screaming undecipherable words at Jaebum.

 

Jaebum realizes as the seconds drag on that it’s hard to get mad at Mark, because he literally looks like an angel even without the halo and the wings. With his blonde hair, he seems to be glowing, too, especially when he smiles and his canines show. Jaebum sighs, before deciding to dismiss _temporarily_ his unjustified hatred towards the elder and stop being a jerk and converse properly.

 

“Hey,” Jaebum starts, and thankfully, Mark smiles with a slight tilt of head, urging him to proceed. “How did – How did you become friends with Solar?”

 

Mark’s first reaction is a loud, reverberating laughter. It takes him a good twenty seconds before he calms down, hands on his stomach. “She just appeared at my doorstep.”

 

“I’m honestly more surprised that she did not break in.”

 

Mark nods vigorously, smile still etched on his face. “She looks so pretty and prim until she threatened to end my life right there and then,” Mark narrates, and he pauses for a moment before continuing. “If I happen to not know her or her parents, I could’ve called for the cops. She’s scary, man. I almost peed in my pants.” Jaebum laughs hard at this, imagining Solar towering Mark with her lean physique and high heels. Jaebum thinks Solar actually threatened to kill Mark with her heels. “But then Jackson came out, and Solar started screaming like a fangirl. Turns out she watches national swimming competitions and she happens to be a fan. Man, I’ve never been so thankful of Jackson!” Mark exclaims, and they share a chuffed laugh until they’re both doubling over, tears in their eyes and a pleasant pain to their stomachs.

 

“Jinyoung should see you two getting along.”

 

Jaebum’s laughter immediately dies down and his mouth curves downward at Solar’s comment, and if only Jackson is capable of hurting an XX chromosome carrier, he could’ve hit her at the back of her head.

 

The food arrives not long after, and none of them speak as they all started eating. (Even Jackson’s word rate slows down to a word-per-minute.) Minutes into her jjigae, however, Solar speaks up.

 

“A guy who doesn’t have the guts to confess to his love is worthless.” Jaebum chokes on his noodles at this, his eyes immediately shooting up to send a glare in Solar’s direction. She ignores it, of course, before continuing with a sweet smile, “It’s cute when Wheein sends random messages, you know.” She raises her phone up and in front of Jaebum’s face to prove her point.

 

“It’s true, though. Why don’t you confess, man?”

 

Jaebum swallows his noodles before preparing a practiced reply to Jackson, but Solar gets to speak first. “ _I value our friendship more than anything, and I won’t risk destroying it for something as unsure as a probable relationship_ ,” she says in a low, raspy voice, a fail attempt at mimicking Jaebum. “I’ve heard it so many times I think I’m starting to have dreams of everyone saying it.” Mark and Jackson laughs, the latter even leaning forward to give Solar a high five.

 

Jaebum cannot laugh though, probably because he can’t laugh at _his_ own expense, but mostly because he’s starting to realize that the practiced reply that he repeats in his head like mantra is starting to become a statement that convinces _him_ , and not anyone else. It’s like a reply he composed for himself, for when he starts questioning his rather questionable decisions, he has an answer to provide for himself.

 

However, Jaebum notices that his reasons are starting to sound like excuses now. He realizes that what he refers to as the concern he has for their friendship is actually cowardice in disguise.

 

_“Look at us,” Jaebum says, urging Jinyoung to look at his laptop where he transferred the pictures taken from their trekking adventure earlier that day. It’s the middle of spring, and trees are at their best. Jinyoung wants to see the nature at its prime, and Jaebum just says yes._

_Jinyoung smiles, wraps his soft arms around Jaebum’s waist, prods his chin on the elder’s shoulders, and says, “We look so good together.” Rather than seeing it, Jaebum actually_ feels _Jinyoung smile, honest and bright and dripping saccharine._

_Jaebum hums, before gently caressing Jinyoung’s arms wrapped around his torso. “Let’s stay like this forever. Keep this thing forever.”_

_“Hm?”_

_Jaebum untangles Jinyoung’s arms from his torso and twists to look at the younger. Jaebum sees Jinyoung’s deep orbs, his eyes silently and patiently waiting for what Jaebum has to say, and he realizes he can’t say the words he wants to say next while looking at Jinyoung, because lying while looking at his chocolate pools is something Jaebum cannot do. So he opts to bore holes in his laptop screen instead, and intertwines his hands with Jinyoung’s._

_“Let’s stay friends forever. I can’t risk losing our friendship for something… unsure and temporary.”_

What Jaebum feels for Jinyoung is overwhelmingly vast; it’s not a short-lasting spark heated by friction whenever he’s in contact with Jinyoung, but a wildfire that grows uncontrollable and refractory, unruly and wayward, igniting Jaebum defenselessly.

 

“Can we at least tell him that Mark and Jinyoung are not dating because I’m getting worried he’d just jump off a cliff or something.”

 

Jaebum zones back to his friends from his trance, and both lads are glaring at Solar, probably from the revelation that confused Jaebum more than relaxed him.

 

“W-What?” Jaebum stutters, and it’s stupid, because Solar laughs loudly at his face. If this high-pitched laughter continues to happen right beside his ear, Jaebum might just want to ask for an otologist’s help instead. It didn’t help that Jackson starts laughing too.

 

“Jinyoung and I are not dating, Jaebum-ah,” Mark says, the only person who isn’t laughing not because he doesn’t find Jaebum’s stupidity funny, but because he’s good at controlling it. “Yeah, we’re not. So please stop killing me with your looks. It’s getting scarier,” Mark says, though Jaebum hears the familiar tease in his tone.

 

“I don’t care,” Jaebum says quickly. There’s no way he’d let any of the three people in the table know how relief flashed through him at the knowledge. Though, by the way Mark looks wickedly at him and Solar and Jackson’s pointed laugh, Jaebum knows they know.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum wakes up late the day of Jinyoung’s birthday, and it’s probably because of the missing warm limb he usually wakes up to yearly, at the same day. He almost wants to skip school hadn’t Yerin, the student council secretary, reminded him of an important meeting. Jaebum grumbles and unwillingly drags his ass up and away from bed.

 

When Jaebum reaches his homeroom, he sees a crowd of giggling girls near his seat. He frowns, his head getting dizzier at the unwanted sounds, until he sees a tower of gifts on his seat. He sighs and turns around, deciding to spend the day – or the time he has until his meeting – at the library.

 

Jinyoung is many things but materialistic isn’t one of them.

 

Jinyoung’s birthdays are mostly spent at Jaebum’s home (at least after Jaebum stopped giving him toys for gifts). Jinyoung would stay the night before his birthday and Jaebum would wake him up with a breakfast in bed, treated like the princess that he is. The entire day would be spent either sleeping or Jaebum reading passages to Jinyoung, but it is never boring. They would play scrabble sometimes, but when Jinyoung realized his cheating skills are still lacking and insufficient to beat Jaebum, he’d flip the board and just snuggle onto Jaebum.

 

Jaebum smiles to himself before fumbling for a book he’d pretend to read, and then the bell rings, and it’s Jaebum’s cue to take the sleep he lost from thinking a certain bright-eyed lad whose smiles can bring Jaebum in his own paradise in hell.

 

It’s almost 10 AM when Yerin wakes him up and drags him to the meeting—which dizzyingly lasted for almost six hours, what with all the preparations for the winter dance and the winter play.

 

Jaebum’s head snaps up at the reminder, almost plopping his coffee down and on his lap, and he immediately bids goodbye to the council, before he runs towards the direction of the school theater hall where the Drama Club stays.

 

When he silently enters the theater hall, he takes a seat at the corner on the farthest row, praying to keep himself invisible. The red curtain is down on stage, and then Nayeon is handing Jinyoung a rope that the man pulls, and he looks so stunned at what he sees on stage.

 

The stage seems to be a birthday party for a 2-year-old, what with all the small pastel tables and chairs and party hats. There’s a large, colorful banner that took weeks in completing, party poppers, banners, and a huge Rilakkuma mascot on the side. Little burgers, brioches and canapés are also around the tables. There’s even a piñata hanging at the middle of the stage, taking everyone’s attention away from the home-baked three-layered chocolate cake.

 

Youngjae picks up a Pororo party hat and puts it on Jinyoung, and Jaebum almost covers his eyes at how blinding Jinyoung’s smile is. Though Jaebum thinks Jinyoung actually glowed when he sees the cotton candies on one table.

 

It’s enough for Jaebum, so he leaves the theater like that, his presence unnoticed.

 

* * *

 

It’s past 11 PM when Jaebum hears a loud banging on his door. He saunters toward the door, silently preparing himself in case Jackson punches him again.

 

Though Jaebum thinks he isn’t prepared well for Jinyoung.

 

Jinyoung is sobbing loudly as he hits Jaebum’s chest, his tears an ugly waterworks in his beautiful face. Jinyoung’s sobs are uncontrollable and shaky, and Jaebum doesn’t know how to calm him down when he himself is hurting at the sound of it alone, so he does what he can at the moment—he wraps Jinyoung in a tight embrace. If this is a wrong move or not, Jaebum doesn’t know; Jinyoung stopped pounding on his chest, but his sobs got louder and he was shaking more now. Jaebum slowly pulls Jinyoung inside, before he gently pushes him against the closed door.

 

“I hate you,” Jinyoung says in between sobs, and Jaebum feels a fist grip on his heart tighter at the words.

 

_So Jinyoung is crying because of me._

“But I didn’t do anything,” Jaebum mutters softly, caressing Jinyoung’s back. Jinyoung’s head snaps up at his reply, almost hitting Jaebum’s chin.

 

“Exactly!” Sob. “You didn’t – You didn’t do anything!” Sniff. Sniff. “You didn’t call me and asked me to sleep here last night!” Sob. Sob. “I didn’t wake up to your omelet!” Sob. Sob. “I didn’t…” Sniff. “I didn’t even see you the entire day.”

 

Jaebum watches Jinyoung painfully, his heart clenching in pain at the fact that he made Jinyoung feel so down at a day he’s supposed to enjoy. He lets his hands fall from his embrace, and Jaebum is immobile, but his hands seem to have a mind of their own when they reach up and wipe Jinyoung’s face, still lovely even with the mess. Damn, even if Jinyoung’s sniffing snot and wiping his tears with the sleeves of his shirt, Jaebum would still see him as the most beautiful human being.

 

Jinyoung leans in to his touch, and even with the silent tears, he closes his eyes, reveling on the warmth of Jaebum’s calloused hands. Jaebum looks at Jinyoung eye lids, then, and before he could stop himself, he’s leaning down and kissing each lid, as softly as he could, afraid to hurt Jinyoung any further. When he’s done, he leans his forehead against Jinyoung’s, before the younger is opening his eyes, and Jaebum doesn’t bother hiding the raw adoration in his own eyes that he’s sure Jinyoung would catch.

 

_Just for today._

Jaebum swallows before he’s speaking, “I’ll cook you something, okay? Give me a few minutes.” Jinyoung nods, and Jaebum flees for the kitchen, holding his chest in worry his heart might just jump off and out of his ribs.

 

All Jaebum did, anyway, is reheat the stuff he cooked for Jinyoung. He plans on bringing it the next day to the younger, or probably feed it to the street dogs in the neighborhood if he decides to chicken out. He’s done in less than ten minutes, and he went out to look for the younger but Jinyoung is nowhere in sight. Jaebum’s shoulder sags, but his heart beat spikes up when he sees a flash of light from the direction of his room, his door ajar. Jaebum’s internal panic has him almost insane, and he almost trips on the stairs as he runs to his room.

 

“Jinyoung—“

 

Jaebum words are cut short when Jinyoung throws himself at him, the other’s plump lips crashing at Jaebum’s surprised ones. It takes Jaebum a few beats to realize Jinyoung is kissing him, the thought to good to be accepted by his mind, but it’s enough to faze Jinyoung as he slowly pulls away, head hanging low.

 

Jaebum’s breathing is ragged, his heart beating abnormally in his chest, but he takes courage and touches Jinyoung’s jaw softly, so gently, trying to catch the younger’s faltering gaze. It takes him a few seconds, but when Jinyoung meets Jaebum’s eyes, the raw adulation in them sweeps Jaebum’s control away, and he’s claiming Jinyoung’s lips.

 

Kissing Jinyoung feels like a crime, like Jaebum’s tainting the innocence of an angel, but he can’t stop himself from tasting Jinyoung’s sweetness, from taking in the softness of his lips. Jaebum thinks of Jinyoung’s smile, and he realizes Jinyoung’s kisses are as sweet and warm as them. No pretentions, no shams. Just raw adoration and all the pent up attraction.

 

_Just for today._

Jaebum wraps his right arm around Jinyoung’s waist before he pulls away, wiping the salty liquid running down the younger once more. Jinyoung chases his lips, and Jaebum presses a short peck before he runs his thumb on Jinyoung’s cheeks. Jinyoung hugs Jaebum then, but the crimson tint on his cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed, and Jaebum hugs him tighter.

 

They sleep together that night, both lads clad in Jaebum’s shirt and boxers, food neglected. Jinyoung’s head is nuzzled on Jaebum’s clavicle, and he’s humming a sweet tune to lull them both to sleep. Jaebum tightens his hold on Jinyoung, afraid to let the younger go, and they both doze off tangled to each other, Jaebum’s chore of cleaning the mess from his preparations for Jinyoung’s surprise at the theater earlier long forgotten.

 

(“Don’t think I didn’t notice your black eye, Im Jaebum,” Jinyoung murmured while Jaebum was pulling his shirt down after he showered, and Jaebum froze in his spot. “I’m killing Jackson.”)

 

* * *

 

 

When Jaebum wakes up and he feels the warmth embracing his sides, Jaebum knows things are bound to change. He looks down and kisses Jinyoung’s closed lids, waking up the younger effectively, and the smile he sends Jaebum’s way is beyond glowing. His eyes are illegally sparkling at an early hour on a weekday, and Jaebum decides to listen to what the world seems to be screaming at him; that same day, he cuts his self-restrain and crosses the line he himself drew, and he kisses Jinyoung on the lips, before pulling him up to prepare for school.

 

“Did you fuck?” is the first thing Jaebum hears upon entering the school premise, and of course it’s _Jackson_. “Man, you and Jinyoung are glowing.”

 

“We did not,” Jaebum says, before he looks at Jinyoung who is sitting on the teacher’s desk and chatting with some of their classmates. Jaebum smiles unconsciously, and Jackson nudges him roughly on the chest. “Shut the fuck up, Jackson.”

 

“Did you do it?” comes Mark’s question during Trigonometry two periods later, a pleasant frown on his forehead. “You’re glowing, Jaebum-ah,” he says, before taking the seat beside Jackson.

 

“Dude, that’s what I’m telling him since homeroom!” Jackson screams. Thankfully, Jinyoung is in a different class. “I don’t know whether to believe or not when he said they did not fuck.”

 

“Maybe he wants to call it _making love_ ,” Mark teases, and Jaebum regrets befriending the two.

 

Or rather, Jaebum regrets his choice of friends when he sits with Youngjae, Bam, and Yugyeom and the three start asking him about him and Jinyoung and why are they both twinkling like stars on a particularly dark night.

 

Jaebum dismisses them all, and when he wonders why they all are bothering him and not Jinyoung, they just send grins that depict words undecipherable to Jaebum.

 

Things ascend uphill from that day on, with Jinyoung back to barging in on council meetings, and the Drama Club seeing more of Jaebum as the elder goes to check on Jinyoung and waits for him before he walks him home. It’s a normal routine; they both have been doing things with each other even before, but the kisses at the side of the mouth or the mere entwining of hands are new, though the pleasure is ardent and warm and familiar.

 

* * *

 

“I heard you’re dating Jinyoung now! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Solar shrieks one October weekend, before flipping the hair that fell indecorously on her pretty, scrunched up face.

 

“We’re not dating,” Jaebum says, and he doesn’t expect the flinch that comes after the response.

 

“Ah, I see there is still some cowardice left in you,” she comments, eyes fleeting in Jaebum’s direction before sipping on her drink.

 

“I don’t want to make him do things he doesn’t want to,” Jaebum replies, and Solar almost jumps from her seat and attacks Jaebum. Almost.

 

“You’re the only one who doesn’t know Jinyoung loves you!” Solar screams, announcing a fact that Jaebum keeps on refusing to believe to the whole café, and probably to the nearby stalls too. As if in deep frustration, Solar ruffles and pulls her hair, before glaring at Jaebum. She utters continuous _ah, jinjja! Jinjja! Jaebummie babo-yah!_ in her seat, all the while killing Jaebum with her eyes.

 

Jaebum stares at Solar and he thinks, maybe she’s not lying. Maybe she’s not giving him false hopes. Maybe Jinyoung loves him too in a way he wants to, in a way more than he does the rest of their friends. Jinyoung is a kind-hearted creature who treats every being as precious and special as the others, and Jaebum thinks how Jinyoung treats him isn’t different. But the blush that creeps up Jinyoung’s demeanor whenever Jaebum smiles at him, or the quick pulse Jaebum feels whenever he holds Jinyoung tightly but gently are surely reactions that he triggers solely. Jaebum has known Jinyoung long enough and he knows Jinyoung doesn’t react to any other that way. Just to Jaebum. Only with Jaebum.

 

Jaebum is so out of his zone and into his trance that he is caught off-guard when Solar leans forward from her seat across the table to pinch Jaebum’s cheeks with so much vim, her nails digging on his cheeks. “Aaaah, Jaebum!”

 

* * *

 

It’s been days since Jaebum’s talk with Solar, and things seemingly stop from progressing; instead, things unexpectedly plummet at a rate Jaebum can’t keep up with. When Jinyoung sends him one day a message to just go straight home because practices would extend, Jaebum is still okay. Except Jackson texts him too, asking if he wants to grab a bowl of ramyun since Mark has no practice for the day.

 

“Are we okay?” Jaebum asks at homeroom the next day, and the next, and a few more days after.

 

“Yes,” Jinyoung would reply. Always.

 

It’s shitty, how Jinyoung rejects and dismisses him, so Jaebum distracts himself away from his tragic life and drowns instead in his books, a few more weeks left until the aptitude test. Enthralled by reviewing and reading his books and notes, October passes by quickly. It has been long since Jaebum sees Jinyoung outside school, and Jaebum hasn’t spent an extra minute with any of his friends yet, but before he could complain about losing sleep and his social life, SATs are over and he’s in his bed, down on his stomach and snoring, trying to make up for the lost sleep, a repercussion of over-studying for a life-changing exam.

 

* * *

 

Things roll back to normal after the rollercoaster ride of seniors who took the aptitude test, except Jaebum and Jinyoung. They’re like a glitch in the system of normalcy, and Jaebum’s mind short-circuits thinking how he can resolve this thing with Jinyoung. Whatever this _thing_ is.

 

He decides to pay Jinyoung a visit on a Tuesday afternoon, and Jaebum almost runs out of the theater when he hears a yell of “Stop!” That one’s Jinyoung, Jaebum knows without having to look at him. And it’s then that it dawns on Jaebum how he misses Jinyoung, because he feels utterly emotional even at the sound of Jinyoung’s scream.

 

“You’re not doing it right,” Jinyoung says, rolled paper in hands. “Jaeyoung, you _are_ confessing to the love of your life. You can’t just – argh! I don’t know. I just—“ Jinyoung inhales deeply, before continuing, “Take a rest first, you two. Re-read the script, and then be back in five.” He tugs at his dark hair with so much frustration and Jaebum just wants to cuddle him, hold him close and protect him from all the harshness of the world.

 

“I’m sorry for being a burden, Jinyoung-ah,” Mark says, kneeling at the stage so he could look at Jinyoung closer. Jaebum realizes that he got over his jealousy when Mark said he and Jinyoung aren’t dating, and the other is keeping a safe distance to the younger too, so Jaebum is more than glad. “I’ll try better, okay?” Jinyoung nods, and Jaebum is watching closely enough to see the sudden glint in Mark’s eyes. “But maybe you can do us a demo? Of how you want the scene to be portrayed.”

 

Jaebum freezes on his spot, and much to his anguish, Mark looks at his direction. Suzy does, too, and the wicked smile on her face is scaring Jaebum to an extent that he feels like running away right at that moment.

 

“With Suzy?” Jinyoung whispers, and he’s standing up.

 

“The point is to show Mark and I how you want the confession to push through, so how would I see it if you’re gonna do it with me?” Suzy reasons, hands patting Mark’s back.

 

“You should do it with someone who knows the script by heart,” Mark says, and Jaebum feels his legs shake at his stare. “Like, Jaebum-ah.” Jinyoung turns his head so abruptly that Jaebum got a little worried he might get whiplash, and the surprise Jaebum sees in Jinyoung’s eyes are so overwhelming, taking all of Jaebum’s control not to attack him right that second.

 

“Jaebum,” Jinyoung whispers, and Jaebum is rendered speechless. One word and Jaebum feels like his heart is on the carpeted floor of the theater hall, falling helplessly at the sound of Jinyoung’s mellifluous voice. He can only nod, before Jinyoung is handing him the script for the scene and in minutes, they are on stage, eyes on them but Jaebum is nowhere near caring.

 

Jaebum knows this part. It’s the part where Jaeyoung finds Moonbyul staring up at the sky, asking the world why she’s given leukemia of all people, and she begs the entire universe to just get her and prevent her heart from falling too hard for someone she can’t have. It’s painful, how Moonbyul doesn’t even know Jaeyoung loves her more than anyone in the world, and it isn’t easy on Jaeyoung’s part to confess either. And then Moonbyul cries, and Jaeyoung goes on his knees and cajoles Moonbyul, pouring his heart out with the moon and the stars as their witness.

 

It’s the turning point of the story, and it’s probably why Jinyoung is freaking out that his actors can’t pull this off, and Jaebum is honestly frightened.

 

Jinyoung pulls Jaebum out of his thoughts, telling him he’d start in a minute, and Jaebum nods and walks far enough so Jinyoung could have the stage on his own. Jinyoung sits on a stool – it’s actually a swing on the script, but the props rehearsal won’t be until first week of December so other props onstage are still improvisations – and then he’s looking up, forlorn claiming his features.

 

Jaebum is enthralled by Jinyoung’s acting prowess; it seems like Moonbyul possessed Jinyoung’s body on cue, and it’s hard to keep a straight face especially when tears started rolling down his cheeks as he delivers the lines. And then he’s screaming, complaining how the world is so problematic and unfair, and everything looks so natural that Jaebum thinks Jinyoung is actually the one in so much pain.

 

“I – I just want to be happy…,” Jinyoung stutters, voice trembling and eyes closed tightly in an attempt to stop his tears and control his sobs. “I just… I just love him too much, and more time with him is all I ask. Why! Why can’t I have it!”

 

It’s Jaebum’s cue to come in, and in three steps, he’s sitting on his heels, crouching in front of Jinyoung. Jaebum sees the tears stinging Jinyoung eyes, and he almost forgets his line.

 

“ _Aegi-yah_ ,” he says, cupping Jinyoung’s face in the gentlest way possible, before thumbing at the tears in his eyes. “I—“ Jaebum says, stopping himself on cue, before he sighs. Jaeyoung is a man of few words, and the confession scene is mostly comprised of Moonbyul’s monologue, and Jaebum remembers Jaeyoung carries on his character with his actions. The script actually said Jaeyoung would kiss Moonbyul, though there’s a bold red line across it—Jinyoung’s probably still deciding whether to let Mark and Suzy kiss in front of the entire audience or not.

 

Jinyoung looks at him then, and Jaebum almost falters when he sees tears forming at the corners of Jinyoung’s eyes again. And then he realizes, he can’t let himself lose Jinyoung this easily. Jaebum is scared—scared of his feelings for Jinyoung, scared of acting on those feelings only to ruin something as beautiful as their friendship, scared of losing Jinyoung to someone else because of his cowardice. Jaebum is scared, and he’s pushing Jinyoung away, thinking it’s the only way to salvage the sanity he has left. But it dawns on Jaebum how he’s losing Jinyoung all the same, and the fright he feels in his system is terrifying, eating him whole and helpless. He needs Jinyoung in his life, Jaebum knows this much. More than ruining their friendship for something unsure and short-termed, Jaebum realizes he must be more afraid, more scared, more horrified of taking down the opportunity the world has conspired in giving him—a chance with Jinyoung.

 

Still holding the younger’s face, Jaebum stands up, and it startles Jinyoung. He looks up at Jaebum, his eyes searching, and then Jaebum is leaning down on him, claiming his lips, and right there in front of the entire Drama Club and the few faculties who guide the production, Jaebum kisses the love of his life, relaying the confession he can’t articulate. Jinyoung kisses him back, and Jaebum hears the younger’s unspeakable acceptance of his confession, a deafening scream that Jaebum covetously takes in.

 

* * *

 

Winter rolls in a blur, and in two weeks, Winter Solstice will finally come up to life. Jaebum has barely seen Jinyoung around school, but weekends are spent in his place and it’s enough for him. At least he gets to spend a few days with Jinyoung alone, even if it meant watching the younger sleep in his bed, clad in his clothes.

 

Jinyoung looks exhausted, though Jaebum won’t even be lying if he says Jinyoung still looks as breathtaking as always even with the dark circles under his eyes and the slightly hollow cheeks. Jaebum is concerned, but Jinyoung would always smile his blinding, wrinkled eye smile at him and Jaebum is swept off his feet, heart palpitating in an unusually fast pace.

 

Jaebum doesn’t realize he zoned out of his non-business conversation with a few of the council members hadn’t his phone vibrated and he saw Yerin eyeing him, like she’s talking to him and he’s not giving a bit of his attention to anyone—which probably is the case, anyways. Jaebum just smiles his way out of her bad side and checks his phone.

 

**From: Jirongie**

J a e b u m m i e ……. ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

_Sent 4:31 PM_

Instead of replying, Jaebum calls the younger. Jinyoung answers at the first ring.

 

“Jaebummie,” Jinyoung whines, followed by a sneeze on the other line. Jaebum looks at his friends, and they roll his eyes at him before shooing him away, looking at Jaebum like he’s a love struck fool that Jaebum probably is. Really.

 

“Baby, I’m here. I’ll buy you food. Wait up, okay?”

 

“Be quick, hm?”

 

“Yes, yes.” Jinyoung hums as a reply before Jaebum hears a faint _see you later_ , and Jaebum goes to buy food for the entire club.

 

When he’s on Jinyoung’s favorite pizza restaurant, Jaebum squints his eyes when he sees a familiar built leaning on the glass pane at a café across. When he gets near, he sees Solar and her scrunched up face, and she smiles immediately at the sight of him.

 

“Last time I checked, your school is not within a mile from here.”

 

“Nice one, Sherlock. How did the background check go? Have you discovered that my beautiful friend Moonbyul lives nearby which is why you find me here even when my school is in the next district?” Solar replies, the sarcasm on her tone a far cry from the fondness in her eyes as she looks at Jaebum.

 

“Okay, smartass. That’s enough sarcasm for today. Where’s your friend Moonbyul?”

 

Solar pouts, and Jaebum wonders how she looks 4 physically when she’s 90 mentally. “I don’t know what’s taking her so long. Ah, that moonstar!” she exclaims, before smiling so widely at Jaebum. “So, why are you here?”

 

“Because I live here?” Solar rolls her eyes at Jaebum, and then he’s laughing. After his bout of laughter, he adds, “I’m buying pizza for Jinyoung’s Drama Club; it’s the final day before things get real tomorrow. Might as well treat the guys for a job well done.”

 

“Oh, food! Let me come with you!”

 

“Are you going for the food or for something else?”

 

“Maybe a little gossip about you and Jinyoung too,” Solar answers unabashedly, and Jaebum shakes his head but lets Solar come along.

 

Which, he learns, isn’t a good idea as he walks inside the theater with pizza boxes in hand and Solar – who’s bringing the drinks – in tow, and Jaebum feels Jinyoung’s gaze hot and boring holes in his face.

 

“I’ll charm my way,” Solar whispers after putting the drinks down, and the frown and annoyance that crossed Jinyoung’s features don’t go unnoticed. “I’ll be with Youngjae first!” she adds, before jogging her way to the grand piano where Youngjae is checking his pieces.

 

Holding a breath, Jaebum walks towards Jinyoung and hands him the fries he ordered especially for the younger, and he sighs in relief when Jinyoung takes it, though he says no words and just bows his thanks at Jaebum. It’s enough, Jaebum thinks. _At least he did not ignore me._

* * *

 

“So, that’s Solar,” Jinyoung says much, much later, when they’re alone and Jaebum is walking Jinyoung home, holding the younger close by the hips. The layers of thick coats atop his uniform are enough to warm Jaebum up from the cool breeze of the winter air, but the warmth they give pales in comparison as Jaebum holds Jinyoung close, body heat more than sufficient to keep Jaebum living.

 

Jaebum hums, knowing Jinyoung doesn’t need a reply, and that he’s about to say more. Though the silence is kept even as they turn the corner, where the public playground rests, and Jaebum sees Jinyoung’s eyes twinkle under the pale peach late afternoon light, like the gods personally picked out the brightest stars and put them in Jinyoung’s eyes.

 

Jinyoung chances a glance at Jaebum, seemingly asking for permission to stay and play for a bit, and Jaebum nods. It’s not even dark yet but Jaebum sees the stars twinkle so blindingly bright.

 

With their bags in his shoulders, Jaebum follows Jinyoung as the younger clumsily steps on the seesaw. The seesaw looks slushy, and it’s enough reason for Jaebum to walk to Jinyoung’s side and take his hand, enveloping Jinyoung’s softer one with his calloused palm.

 

As Jinyoung walks carefully and slowly at the seesaw, his klutz feet picking out his path and his balance a little wobbly, he speaks again.

 

“She’s nice.” Jaebum hums in agreement, and Jinyoung proceeds. “And she told me… really _interesting_ stories.”

 

Jaebum forces Jinyoung to stop moving then, and when he catches the younger’s gaze, they are full of mirth, a far cry from the indescribable feelings he had seen before that he’d like to name as jealousy now. Relief flashes in Jaebum’s chest, and he sends a warm smile in Jinyoung’s direction.

 

“Do I even want to know what you two talked about?” Jaebum says, and his brows almost reach his hairline when Jinyoung laughs open-mouthed.

 

“It’s not like I would even tell you,” Jinyoung quips, pressing a soft kiss on Jaebum’s cheek before sashaying around the playground.

 

Jaebum watches Jinyoung walk around in circles, until he stops and his eyes land on the horizon, the vast field free of skyscrapers accentuating the beauty of the sun as it slowly takes off. Jaebum walks behind Jinyoung, before he embraces him and Jinyoung melts into the back hug, head leaning on Jaebum’s shoulders, and they watch as the sky turns a beautiful shade of pinkish purple, a beautiful gradient that appears even more beautiful when watched with the right person.

 

Jaebum feels Jinyoung’s hand tighten on his arms wrapped around the younger, before he speaks in a serene voice that makes Jaebum think of singing angels in heaven.

 

“Sunsets always make me feel happy,” Jinyoung says, and Jaebum, even though he’s situated behind Jinyoung, senses the smile on the younger’s face. “Mom wakes me up so early that I never miss a sunrise, but sunsets… I barely see them. School’s so much stress, taking up all my time,” Jinyoung adds, chuckling at his own rant. “I’ve always dreamt of watching sunsets, and it’s beautiful. It’s too beautiful I want to keep it for myself.”

 

“You little brat,” Jaebum comments, and Jinyoung twists his head, his nose nuzzling Jaebum’s neck.

 

“Nah, it’s okay. I have my own sunset right here, enveloping me in a very much needed embrace.”

 

Jaebum chokes, and he feels Jinyoung’s shoulders shake against his hold.

 

“You’re as breathtaking as a sunset, your phenomenal beauty is all I want to keep on seeing,” Jinyoung says, heat creeping up his neck. “You’re that beautiful thing I look forward to after a long and stressful and exhausting day.” Jaebum is speechless, and he is too dazed to move even when Jinyoung pulls away gently from his embrace. The younger brushes the fringe off Jaebum’s forehead, before he tiptoes a little to put a chaste kiss. “And you make me happy, like how a sunset does.”

 

Jaebum is breathless at Jinyoung’s confession. If the unspoken admissions swept Jaebum off his feet, the verbal confession Jinyoung just did took him by storm.

 

Before Jaebum can speak, a flake of snow falls on Jinyoung’s nose, and his eyes cross in an attempt to take a look. Jaebum revels in the beauty that is Jinyoung, before he kisses the flake on his nose. Jinyoung looks up then, and Jaebum chuckles at how Jinyoung’s face takes all the snow falling in his direction.

 

“It’s snowing,” Jinyoung says, awestruck by the white ice crystals falling. He looks like a child on his first time seeing snow, and Jaebum’s heart swells at the raw innocence in Jinyoung’s face.

 

Unable to resist the urge of kissing Jinyoung’s innocence away, Jaebum holds Jinyoung’s face gently, and Jinyoung gazes back at him, eyes warm enough to melt the icy precipitates on his face. Jaebum leans down, before he peppers kisses on the flakes scattered on Jinyoung’s face, the younger chuckling beneath Jaebum.

 

If Jaebum is Jinyoung’s sunset, then it’s just fitting to say that Jinyoung is Jaebum’s sunrise. He’s the light Jaebum mostly waits up for, _wakes up_ for. Jinyoung is an ethereal view that Jaebum takes an extra effort to see, each appearance sending an overwhelming flash of emotions, drowning Jaebum defenselessly.

 

“Thank you,” Jaebum mutters after his assault of kisses. “For being my sunrise.”

 

Jaebum slowly leans down, eyes on Jinyoung’s plump lips, but then Jinyoung leans up and meets him halfway, the tears falling at the edge of his crescent eyes taking Jaebum’s breath away, and he feels his chest thump at the raw beauty, of Jinyoung crying in bliss in his embrace.

 

Sunset and sunrise are neither the end of a beautiful day or a start of something new. And as Jaebum feels the warmth emanating from the kiss he shares with Jinyoung under the snow, he realizes how they are so much like the sunset and sunrise. They’re different, but are connected in a beautiful synergy that would be so much ineffective without the other. It’s about timing, about fate. It’s not living with fantasies or swallowing up the realities; it’s taking what’s in between, a bit of this and that. And it’s what their love is comprised of: a bit of Jaebum and a bit of Jinyoung.

 

* * *

 

Jaebum wakes up to sloppy kisses being showered at his face, and—

 

“Who licked my face!” Jaebum gushes, sitting up so fast Jinyoung almost plops on the floor. Jinyoung doesn’t seem to mind though, as he’s laughing wickedly as he straddles Jaebum to lie on his back.

 

“Hey, that’s Nora! Stop murdering me with your eyes,” Jinyoung says, before smooching Jaebum’s cheeks with sloppy kisses again.

 

“Ah, you two,” Jaebum sighs in defeat, and if Nora could speak, Jaebum is sure she’s cackling at him. When Jaebum tries to steal a few minutes of sleep, Jinyoung’s kisses get sloppier, and Jaebum feels his face showered with saliva he’s sure is not his own.

 

Love is waking up to Jinyoung brightly smiling at him like the sun particularly decided to rise in his room, but damn, it’s so hard when he’s trying to get some more sleep.

 

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Jaebum chastises, holding Jinyoung’s wrist as he forcefully awakens himself. “There are no classes for today and you’re not needed to go to school until 11. What’s up?”

 

“We’re watching the sunrise!” Jinyoung says eagerly, jumping in bed in glee.

 

Jaebum heaves a deep sigh, wondering how many more hours of sleep he would deprive himself for the next lifetime he would spend with Jinyoung, and he realizes that it doesn’t matter. He loves the sunrise anyways.

 

Just not as much as he loves Jinyoung.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m freaking out at this craze because I can’t believe I gave Solar more exposure than the rest of the GOT7 boys D: There are just feelings and outbursts that you can’t squeeze out from a guy, thus Solar’s existence! Anyways, thank you for your time reading this ❤️


End file.
